Where does God looks when my life hurts?

When life hurts, when storms me, when I turn around and discover that I'm alone.
When I feel like if I die no one does notice, when what hurts me most it’s the presence of others around me without actually been here, and I feel more alone. I feel that there is no loneliness worse, than the solitude been accompanied.
When I kneel before my cross, saying, feeling, suffering, Lord, I can not no more, you have forgotten me. Nobody looks at me, nobody understands me, nobody listen, I no longer exist. Why have you forsaken me?
Where is God in that moment?
God is with me.
He is always with me. It is so intense what I am feeling in my humanity, that I feel numb, the pain distracts me from the awareness of his presence. But He is always here, immutable, loving, watchful, omnipresent, always with me.
Just waiting for me to my open my eyes and look him in the face and breathe, feel and say, There you are! and I was looking everywhere and you were in front of me.

I believe that when God takes all from us, it’s to remind us that only HE is enough. That we really just need HIM.
This is the real moment to show my faith. In his silences, in his moments of stillness, in the moments when my senses deceive me and lead me to think that he has left.
That's really where my faith in HIM is being tested.

I love you lord and I ask you to keep me in my faith.
Grant me strength in your silences, assured me deep in my heart of your love.